A Strange Trip
I recently took a week-long trip with a longtime friend. I’m talking 20-year-old-friendship kind of friend. And it was strangest thing… for some reason, even though this is a person I love dearly and who is without question one of my favorite people on the planet, I was finding myself not wanting to be around them. It was quite alarming! I began having thoughts like “Have we changed over the years? Are we no longer compatible as friends? Is this the beginning of the end?”
The Realization
But then at some point, it hit me. We’d embarked upon this trip right after a hectic month in which I’d had next to zero time to myself. And if you’re a deeply introverted person like me, you know what happens when you don’t have enough time alone. You begin to feel drained, as though you’re running on empty (even if you’re gotten enough sleep), and people – any people – might bother you simply by being around you. All you want to do is get away and have some solitude! It’s not a good scene.
I was inspired to write about this experience because I think this is a perfect illustration of what happens when we aren’t getting what we need.
Three Questions
So, dear reader, I have three questions for you to ponder:
What are the things you need in order to be the best version of yourself? As humans, our needs are as varied as our personalities, and your list might look completely different than mine. Possible list items might include: getting outside each day, daily exercise, solitude/people, x hours of sleep, a daily meditation practice, or the diet that works best for you.
What happens when you aren’t getting what you need? If you’re like me, you might become increasingly irritable or maybe downright grumpy. Others might become sad, emotional, or even angry.
Are you able to express to others when you aren’t getting what you need? This is perhaps the most important question of the three. When you aren’t getting what you need, do you suffer in silence (as admittedly I did for days in the aforementioned scenario), or are you able to tell others what you need? When we as humans are able to advocate for ourselves and make sure we’re getting what we need, everybody benefits. For when you can be the best version of yourself with all your needs met, you can accomplish more and care better for others.
A Happy Ending
So what happened on my trip with my friend? Quite lucky for me, my friend is incredibly perceptive. She brought it up, asking what was going on with me. This sparked a conversation which brought clarity and understanding to both sides. For the remainder of the trip we balanced together time with alone time and ended on a very happy note!
I’ll end by saying this: If you’re someone who tends not to ask for what you need, I encourage you to begin to practice using this muscle. I promise it gets easier the more you do it, and the rewards are greater than you can possibly imagine.
